'Twas the night before Christmas
throughout the Old World,
The armies were camped and their banners were furled.
The clamor of battle had finally ceased,
All races observing a Christmastime peace.
Each force in its barracks, each fleet in its haven,
No creature was stirring, not even a Skaven.
The dreams of the elf-lords were distant and deep;
The Orcs lay in rows, snoring "waagghhh" in their
sleep.
Your humble narrator had blown out the light,
Set the brushes to rinse and turned in for the night,
And, stealing back blankets usurped by my love,
I was just dozing off...when I heard from above
Such a clatter of hooves! Were we under attack?
Our rooftop assaulted by Arkhan the Black?
I dashed to the parlour in nightshirt and cap
And loaded my crossbow in case of a scrap.
But who should pop out of the fireplace flue
Than old Santa himself! With a bulging sack too!
He shook himself off and went under the tree,
To set out some gifts for my lady and me.
He spun round to face me (which gave me a fright)
And said "You two were last on my list for tonight,
"In your world, that is. But I've work yet to do...
"There are other realms out there that need Christmas,
too!"
And he pulled out more gifts, moving faster than
light:
"I must get these sent out through the kingdoms
tonight!
"A hatchet for Morglum that sings as it hews;
"A reinforced hatrack for Teclis to use;
"A cape for Karl Franz with a griffon-fur trim,
"A mustachio wax kit for Volkmar the Grim,
"A new cloak for Mannfred, all lined in red satin,
"A scabbard for Heinrich with etched words in Latin,
"A chew-toy for Scyla; for Arbaal a book
"(To write down the names of the heroes he's
cooked),
"A tankard for Thorgrim, brim-full of good beer....
"And the Witch-King gets coal. For the six thousandth
year."
And then, to my shock, he knelt down on the floor
Near a mousehole I just hadn't noticed before
And he squeezed in some boxes, all wrapped with great
care;
Then Saint Nick hollered out, "Merry Christmas down
there!"
"I'm sending down presents for all of your folk-
"A new knife for Sniktch and some mouthwash for
Skrolk,
"A wrench set for Ikit, a mirror for Queek
"And a snuffbox for Thanquol...you're welcome! Neek
Neek!"
His labours now done, Santa went on his way.
He rose up the chimney and boarded his sleigh.
He snatched up the reins, oh so jolly and spry,
Then he called to his team, and the reindeer Flew
High.
But I heard him exclaim as he clove through the blue
"Merry Christmas To All! (hope games workshop won't
sue!)
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