The First Annual Gaiscioch Silverwood Squirrel Race-off! Sun Mar 27 2 PM PST

NOTE: Updated with route and checkpoints. Also if you don't have a Spirit of the Squirrel but would still like to participate, please let me know and I'll give you one. I have extras (BIG BIG thanks to Skron for donating them!!!)

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Have you got what it takes to be the fastest squirrel in Silverwood? Do you have the heart of a lion, but the form of a squirrel? Or do you just want to run around as squirrel and gather up nuts for the winter?

If you said yes to any of the above or if you are just really bored and have nothing better to do then this Sunday March 27th at 2 pm PST, I will be conducting the first annual Silverwood Squirrel marathon race. This race will start INSIDE ARGENT GLADE AT THE COLLEGE and end IN SANCTUM. There are naturally a few rules and regulations to this race.

1> You must be in squirrel form to participate in this race. The winner must start the race in squirrel form and cross the 'finish line/point' still as a squirrel. If their form breaks for any reason, they will be disqualified.

WAIT!!! How do I turn myself into a squirrel you ask? Well good question. There is a consumable that is randomly dropped off Rifts that will change you into a squirrel for a 1 hour duration. Any action taken will break squirrel form so be careful what buttons you press. The few I have gotten have dropped from Life rifts from Silverwood but I'm not sure if others do too.

2> There is a voluntary 5g entry fee. I don't really care if you want to donate to the purse or not actually lol. All entry fees will be pooled together and the winner will get 80% of the pool, 2nd place will get 20%, and third place will get a useless grey item from my personal inventory!

3> There will be no help from outside parties. Nobody is allowed to have friends or PETA members clear the field of potential dangers like unfriendly monsters and/or huge caches of acorns. Being a squirrel is a dangerous life, there's no use sugar coating it.

4> No cheating please. One cannot reach one's inner squirrel by taking shortcuts. Only by doing it the hard way will you gain the respect of your squirrel peers.

5> Only squirrel form is allowed. No bats, imps, monkeys, bunnies, or people dressed all in pink cackling like crazy in Vent. (I'm looking at you Cinder)

Here's how the race will run:

Everyone will be in one raid group. (Or 2 if we have more participants) We will have 4 official checkpoints that you must pass through in order to continue in the race. So no, you can't just run in a straight line to Sanctum. That would be too easy and we don't do easy!

First we will run south to RUDI'S WAGON.

Then we will run east to MARSH HOUSE.

Proceed onwards to SILVER LANDING.

Finally run eastwards to SANCTUM WATCH.

After that it's a straight dash over the bridge of Sanctum. Now here is the tricky part. When you get into Sanctum, you will have to run up to GYPSE and /trade with him. The first squirrel to do so will be declared the winner. Now any sane person would probably run away from a horde of hungry looking squirrels, so don't blame Gypse if he does something crazy. ;0

Those who do not wish to participate in the race but wish to observe and cheer on the participants are welcome to watch our brave wannabe squirrels. Again, there can be no interference allowed, we are doing this Animal Planet style. If there are non race participants who wish to volunteer at the checkpoints, that'd be awesome too.

For any questions regarding the race, just post underneath. If you have questions about the most effective way to run as a squirrel, I suggest sitting under a tree and asking the first rodent that pops up.

Lets try to have a good turnout for this momentous event. Hopefully this will be the start of a series of animal races across Telara. Next event, the Great Bat Flap-off in Gloamwood! (tm)

» Edited on: 2011-03-21 11:55:05

» Edited on: 2011-03-21 11:55:48

» Edited on: 2011-03-25 21:51:51

Side bets? Please list all participants including class and level. Animal race is no fun if you you can't wager on it and/or eat the losers.

i can judge the end, just need details,or the acorns to throw at them. oh wait where is the signup and when is the race.

» Edited on: 2011-03-21 11:33:09

Uhh signup...yes...I seemed to forget that minor detail. Signup is here on this post. (Or also you can signup for the event that I added, either will work and I will still update this post) Date is Sunday, March 27. Time is 2 PM PST. Acorns are optional. I will update the post with a proper date and list all the people who sign up. While I officially cannot condone side bets, I will unofficially be happy to participate in them. For instance suggested side bets may include: 1> First one to be disqualified. 2> First one to be killed. 3> First one to sing that chimpunk christmas song on vent. 4> First person to get totally lost and cry for their mommy. 5> Last person to finish 6> First person to taunt their SO about finishing ahead of them in race 7> First parent/friend/squirrel lover to get in a drunken bar fight over comments pertaining to race 8> First person to make an awkward sexual reference about squirrels in vent. 9> First person to mistake a chimpunk for a squirrel. 10> First person to 'forget' to pay the entry fee and have their knees broken by italian dwarven mafia. Again, I'm not uhh officially sponsoring any betting, I'm just giving suggestions. And thank you Blocked, your venerable presence will lend legitimacy to our event. Either that or people will complain and yell at you over your officiating, which is better than complaining to me. ;0

» Edited on: 2011-03-21 12:01:55

oh my god ... oh my god ... oh my god. I'm so going for number 4

I will officiate the starting line if you wish, Bentmer. Should be fun.

Bent I will be glade to be a judge, but what course will they take. Will it be timed, will there be check points. I have other questions, get with me in vent tonight.

Doh! I just sold one of those Saturday night! I think the Squirrels should flag and we fine some Kelari to chase them in the Kelari Fox mode. ;)

Aw shucks, I just cleared my last birthday balloon or I totally would be up for number 3!

You don't necessarily have to sound like a chipmunk to sing the Chipmunk song. I'm sure Alvin, Simon, and Theodore would understand. ;0 There will also be a planned picture of the squirrel participants right before we start. Because alas, there may be alot of us who won't survive the journey. Nemon, that'd be great if you could start us off and even take the group picture. That is, if you don't want to participate. I'd much rather have people join in on the race then sit it out honestly. :)

I don't have the item, and not particularly excited about grinding for it (just grinded to 50 in the last few days), but I do want to be involved and think it would be hilarious and fun. Secondly, although I could try to bring one of my lower leveled toons, if I brought my 50, with the new aggro range thing and without specific checkpoints, I could run right through mobs without aggro-ing that others could not and I don't think that's fair for me to exploit. So... I agree with there being checkpoints at like Marsh House and maybe a couple other places at least to keep it controlled and be able to ensure that squirrels remain squirrels. I will stay at the starting line and take the picture if you'd like, and start the race. We should broadcast a bit before hand for all who wish to enter to do so as well... just an idea. Could be crazy. Would be kewl if we end up with a whole lot of racers that someone had video as well. Could be Ben's opener to the next video he makes. *insert giggle-fit here*

i agree with Nemon, there should be some type of check points two or three of them. Ok Bentmer we need to talk again.

Nemon, I've got a few extras. I'll pass you one (assuming they're not soulbound?) Sign me up!

Good point guys, I was just going to let people run wild but I forgot that the aggro issues have finally been adjusted based on rank. Besides having waypoints will be more fun for people lol. We can discuss a bit more if you have time after the event tonight. We can plot a route and everything. It doesn't even have to be a straight line lol. For those who don't have a spirit of the squirrel item, I do have an extra or two also. Just gather up for the event and hopefully some really nice guildies will be able to supply you with some. Also I believe they're sold on the AH too. And yes they are tradeable. Thanks again for all the input guys :)

I won't be able to join because I ALWAYS WORK ON SUNDAYS. But I have a couple of this "turn to squirrel" doohickey that I can part with. Just send a tell/mail to Skron in-game or ask me on Vent when I'm around.

That sucks you have to work and miss it. If you could mail me in game the Spirit of the Squirrel items that you can part with, that would be awesome. There have been quite a few people interested but who do not have one of those items. Thank you so much for offering. I will make sure to mention you as one of our sponsors ;0.

Bumping to stay on home page lol.

The post has been updated with an updated route! (much thanks to Cue and Lady) Also, if you want to race and don't have the item needed, please let me know. We have quite a few extras available!

I have a spare as well that I found on one of my alts. I will send it to you Bentmer so that you have it to give to someone who needs it. I will still be officiating the starting line. This should be fun.

I will be attending, should be fun

I'm sorry I missed this, but it was the only time available for grocery shopping (my nemesis). :( I hope someone got screenshots!

I'm sure someone did... but I highly suspect the race was "fixed" anyway. How "coincidental" that Bentmer won his own race! :-D I know Cue FRAPSed the ending. I highly suspect there are screenshots of the start, but none by me.

I did frap it, and its still in the works, and anyone know of some editing programs that are free and easy to use. I am no Ben, when it comes to this.

Muahahahahaha *cough* *cough* ahahahahaha...oh wait, squirrels don't cackle...well nevermind then. That's right, I won. I hope that goes to show how deep my love for squirrels, acorns, and nuts run. Besides, I was second to last across the Sanctum bridge (neener neer Berga) so it wasn't like the others didn't have plenty of time to find Cue. How you others couldn't smell him from a mile away is beyond me. ;0 There is no secret to my success. I watched hours (or maybe minutes) of footage on Animal Planet of squirrels to determine their exact behavioral patterns. Than I consulted a renowned zoologist on the peak heartrate of a North American Bushy Tailed Squirrel. After that, I spent countless hours (seconds) imitating the precise gait of a squirrel. Finally, I paid Cue 1 Plat to tell me where he was hiding. Wait did I say that outloud? lol. Seriously, thank you everyone who attended. I had a great time and I hope you all did also. I actually got lost in the woods because I was following Mythgarr and a NPC squirrel ran past us and I started following it instead hahahaha. Big thank yous to Cue (Gypse) and Lady and Don and Corvinadea for helping officiate the race. I know it wasn't easy keeping track of all those squirrels hahaha. Extra thank you to Skron for donating items and money also! Next race will be in Gloamwood to Sanctum and this time we'll be bats! So get your Chalice of the Bat item (drops off Death Rifts or in AH) and see you there!

I ran over a squirrel on my way home from work... I immediately exited the car to make sure this suicidal maniac didnt damage or otherwise stain my flawless 1987 Honda Accord. "How dare you!" I yelled at the top of my lungs and proceeded to retrieve the black tire jack I keep in the hatch. AS i popped open the hatch to access the weapon that would send this vile vermin back to the 8th plane of hell that spawned him, I was suddenly aware of the evil red eyes burning a whole in my back with a deviant stare. I pulled my trusty tire jack from its holding area and spun with a roar! "Yarrrr, bring it rodents!" They came at me from all angles, their evil fury was evident in the saliva dripping from their little buck teeth. I fought with vigor and desperation. Their numbers began to overwhelm me, from the trees, the bushes, and under the car they came. Within seconds I was covered in their gore, a tear streaked my face for the work it require to remove this heinous mess from the exterior of my faithful steed. "I' lost my virginity in that car! I bellowed at the army of rodents assaulting me. With renewed angst I spun my way to the fron of the car so I might escape, it was then my horror was realized. I never ran over a squirrel, they stapled a bushy tail and teeth to a kitten... "NOOOOOO!!! You damn dirty demons!!" "They want your nuts!" A beautiful woman screamed from the passenger side of my noble Japanese ride. She was immediately overcome. They chewed and snickered with a maniacal fervor. I reached into the car and retieved my bag of raw almonds, with surrender in my heart I flung the bag into the air above my head and split it in twine with my trusty jack, the squirrel smasher. Pure almond goodness rained from the sky drawing the attention away from me and the bloodied damsel now fighting for life next to my precious whip. With a heart heavy sigh I entered the vehicle. "Can I have a ride to the hospital, I think I might be dieing..." "Sorry babe, you just dont get blood on the front seat of a beauty like this, have a nice day." And away I rode, the hate in my heart for squirrels burning.

...speechless...and breathless in laughter! Priceless!

How do i post the pics on here?

Nemon, I copied these instructions out of the real life picture thread for you. :) How do you post a picture? Use the following string of text and replace URL with the full URL to your image. You can use images from any 3rd party picture housing place like Flickr, FaceBook, Myspace etc.

Sorry I had to miss it. Looks like it was fun. I hope I can do the bat one.